Advice from the Love Doctor Vol. 1

Advice from the Love Doctor

Whether you’re a girl or a guy, I think most high schoolers would agree that young love has the capability to hurt. Relationships at this point in our lives are filled with confused hormones, irrational decisions, and awkward scenarios. We often find ourselves feeling helpless and lonely, eating away sorrows with a mixture of ice cream and fried and fatty foods. Allow me to advise you of the things you should and should not do when in a relationship, including how to act, what to say, and things to remember if and when things go downhill.

*WARNING* This advice is not guaranteed to work on every person. Also, be aware that while this love advice is coming from the Love Doctor, I am actually a loveless and lonely person.


  • Play hard to get – they’ll think you’re not interested and move on to someone else
  • Make fun of their insecurities – you’re supposed to be the person that makes them happy, not even worse
  • Breakup via text – “honey, what is you doing”
  • Cheat – you’re so much better than that; if you’re unhappy with the relationship, call it off instead of getting with someone else
  • Get back together with a cheater – trust me, I know it’s hard to lose feelings for someone, but you’ll be much happier if you just leave them
  • Send nudes – don’t expose yourself like that
  • Fight over the petty things – similar to most things about high school, it doesn’t matter in the long run
  • Entertain every person who takes interest in you – you become more desirable and attractive the less you pay attention to every person who wants you
  • Boys: go out with other girls without permission – girls LOVE to jump to conclusions, and if she catches you without warning, even if it’s an old friend, she’ll immediately assume the worst
  • Girls: continuously pursue a guy – it is a natural extinct for guys to pursue girls; if your efforts aren’t working, he’s not interested
  • Talk about exes – comparing anyone to someone else is an excellent way of making them angry and self-conscious
  • Say it’s okay when it’s not – if something is wrong, be open and tell them because solving problems is always easier with the help of others


  • Listen to your single friends – they see things about your relationship that you might not be aware of
  • Boys: take a little initiative – girls like it when they don’t have to decide what to do for a date
  • Girls: respond right away – boys are aware that you’re on your phone, so waiting several minutes is pointless and an immediate response doesn’t mean you’re desperate
  • Be nice to their friends – even if you don’t get along, remember that your significant other is friends with them for a reason
  • COMMUNICATE – a secretive relationship gets you nowhere; no matter how hard something might be to talk about, you’ll feel far better to say it aloud than keep it in
  • Be sweet and surprise them without warning – you shouldn’t wait until they ask for something; even the little things remind them that you care
  • Sincerely mean it when you say sorry – don’t be fake, and care about their well-being
  • Be the right one, not the perfect one – no one is perfect, so stop trying to be, especially for someone else
  • Remember your friends – they’ve been around longer than the relationship, so make sure to set aside specific time for them too
  • Take chances – you never know how wonderful someone might turn out to be
  • Be bold – far too many people are afraid of putting themselves out there; just go for it and ask them on a date or to the school dance
  • Stay in a relationship where you’re happiest – relationships should not be hard work; they should be natural and enjoyable
  • Treat them with the utmost respect – coexisting as equals is a fundamental key to a successful relationship
  • Sing old songs together – window down, screaming at the top of your lungs; if you’re too shy to do this in front of them, they’re not the one
  • Be crazy and have fun – ultimately, genuine happiness is most important when you’re in a relationship

So there you have it! The best relationship advice my loveless self could possibly muster! Also, don’t blame me if things don’t work out. If my advice actually worked, I wouldn’t be single. Please use at your own discretion. Good luck!

*Remember: Always leave room for whatever higher deity you may or may not believe in*

About The Love Doctor 3 Articles
The Love Doctor is an incognito member of the ERHS Newspaper Club. Their identity will be kept secret until further notice. For advice, questions, or concerns, contact the Love Doctor at

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.